The day we said goodbye...

Saturday dawned to lots of activities, and getting ready for the funeral. David and I had to drive back to Marlborough to get changed into our funeral clothes after breakfast at Hisako’s. We all arrived at the church around 12:30, which was early since the service didn't start until 2 p.m. Peder’s son-in-law, Ariel, was getting stuff out of his car when I pointed out something on the church driveway--someone had written in chalk that “God Loves”, followed by five names. Ariel said he had some chalk in the car, so he wrote "Peder" at the end of the list!

The services started out typically, but then the pastor asked the attendees to feel free to share their thoughts on what Peder was to them. Eleanor got up first to tell of a time when Peder was five or six, and was to give a solo at church. When the pianist got ahead of him, he stopped singing, went over to her and said he thought they needed to start over! Many artists were there, and the retired art department head of Franklin Pierce College, where Peder had taught, told of a particular Parents' Day: Peder decided to have a nude model in the classroom. Parents were going through the room: mothers were incensed while fathers came back around to see more! Artist Marty Kane told of a time she and Peder wanted to get a better look at a cliff-side vista; Marty started climbing with Peder after. She said she felt safe with Peder climbing below her, but Peder said he'd never been so scared of falling. Jim later told me that there was another part of the story--that Marty was wearing a skirt! Jim told of the time that Peder painted the amaranths in his yard in Iowa, drawing a large crowd of neighbors. Peder sold the painting to a man in France. When Jim asked if maybe Peder could get it back, Peder said he offered the man a large sum, but that "the son-of-a-bitch wouldn't let me have it!" The services drew to a close, and after the exit from the church we went to the community center. The sun was gloriously shining as we all headed over for more memories and meeting old friends.

After the reception, the family and a few friends went over to the cemetery around 5:15, for the ashes interment. While we gathered, Peder's granddaughter, Ayla, romped among the headstones, totally unaffected (the New England cemeteries are surrounded by stone stiles). So surreal! We started off casually, and then David started singing Tom Waits' song, "Innocent When You Dream", that echoed the vision of Ayla “running through the graveyard”, followed by more memories of Peder. Jim played his recorder selection, and there was a space of free-flowing thought. I remembered Peder and I were wearing Christmas socks the same night we all attended the concert of Sam's kids at Keene State--Peder and I were dressed similarly, causing a smidge of jealousy for David! He still thinks we planned that! That was a sweet memory. All this time, Ayla is still happily going around the headstones, grabbing and waving a veteran’s flag or two (we put them back!), saying, "I love Grandpa Peder!"

Neal initiated the interment by kissing the box of his father’s ashes and saying goodbye. He lowered Peder's box of ashes and dropped the first handfuls of earth. With Mom not being as sturdy on her feet since having her hips replaced, I helped Eleanor remove her shoes since we were on soft grass; I walked with her, and held the bucket of dirt for her. She put a few handfuls in the grave, invited others to partake of the act, and then I walked her back to her spot. Others followed and the ceremony came to a conclusion. Neal and I tried to locate the last flag’s headstone that we had, but had to concede and laid it on a headstone. Oddly, the mosquitoes stayed away, as did the looming rain. It was totally peaceful up there with David’s father, Carl, and his neighbors; now his son, Peder. Mom was funny, telling all in attendance that there was room for twenty in the Johnson plot--all are welcome, family or not!

We went to Sam's afterward for the funeral party--lots of food and drink of all kinds, and packed with family. It was late in the evening when everyone went home. The moon was in full-mode, shining brightly, and highlighted by the appearance of Venus. I said it was a good night for remembering Peder.